Reactive vs. Proactive

I sat at Panera and did some work this morning for the first time this year. My schedule has been so frenetic in January with submitting papers for our national conference, 2 grant proposals, and a continuation request for a current project that today was the first time I took the time to stop at Panera, have breakfast, and catch-up on some things.

While sitting there I realized that due to the busyness of this month, most of my actions have been reactive rather than proactive. Well, actually they have been a combination of both, but more reactive than I like.

How much of our lives do we spend merely reacting to what is happening to us, rather than being proactive about our lives? How would our lives be different if we spent more time being proactive, rather than reactive?

I think beginning tomorrow I'll try to start being more proactive with my life, starting with my schedule. I will attempt to cluster meetings, to avoid interruptions in my productivity during the day. I think I'll also be more diligent about keeping my time for writing sacred and not allowing last minute meetings, interruptions, etc. to impinge upon it. I imagine not checking email as frequently would help with this too : ).

What strategies do you use to be more proactive in your life?

Funerals and Cherishing Life

I just returned from the funeral of my 23 year old great niece at 1 AM this morning. It was a quick trip but I'm glad I had the chance to go to the funeral, be there for the family, and support my brother during all of this.

I didn't know Laura all that well. She was born with severe autism and had pretty bad seizures throughout her life. Even with all that going against her, she graduated from high school. She lived at Tammy Lynn Center (http://www.tammylynncenter.org/), an organization that offers educational, residential, and family support services for children with special needs. So many of the staff members came to her funeral and one woman talked about Laura's life. Her eulogy was so much better than that given by the preacher, as you could tell that she'd spent many years caring for Laura.

I can't imagine the pain my niece must be in right now, and has been in this week since Laura died. To have to bury your child must be the worst thing a parent can endure.

All I wanted to do was get home to my child after the funeral! I didn't think the 9+ hour drive would ever end last night. I was so glad when I got home to find that, once again, Callen was in our bed asleep. Bo said she just wouldn't go to bed in her bed last night, so he brought her into our bed. Maybe Callen knew that her mommy was going to need to have her close last night when I got home. Even as tired as I was at 1 AM, I laid in bed for over an hour just watching my sweet baby sleeping. I didn't want to take my eyes off her.

As my niece said to me before we left yesterday, go home and cherish your baby as you never know how long you'll have with her. I hope we can all cherish all the moments we have with our children, our families, and our friends. . .

What Would Be On Your Bucket List?

Bo and I actually got to see a movie in the theater this afternoon! We saw Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The reviews I saw panned it, but we both liked it. The basic premise is that they both find out they have less than a year to live. Carter (Freeman) has started a bucket list (a list of things you want to do before you 'kick the bucket') and he and Edward (Nicholson) take off to complete their combined bucket list.

I wonder . . . what would be on your bucket list now? And, would it change if you knew that you had less than a year to live? I'll be interested to hear your responses . . .

Snowy Day

No, I'm not joking. We actually had a little snow in B'ham today! James Span, our weather man, predicted 1-4 inches and we didn't get even 1/4th of an inch; but it was nice to see nonetheless. Callen loved playing in the snow.

Here's a pix looking out across our neighbor's yard and down the hill from our house.


Here's a pix of Bo and Callen making a snow ball -- which they tried to throw at Mommy, but Mommy was too fast for them : ).











Bo and Callen made 2 little (really little!) snowmen. Here they are on the top of the trashcan.



By now, of course, the snow is almost gone : (. It was nice to see it even if it didn't stay long. Maybe it won't be another 2.5 years before we see snow in B'ham again!

Out Teched By A 2 Year Old

We had dinner with some friends last night and they gave Callen an Elmo song book with an MP3 player. See the picture below. So, our daughter has an MP3 player before either of her parents have an MP3 player or an Ipod. She loves it and has been singing with the songs today!

I've never thought I'd like an Ipod or MP3 player as I like listening to the radio when I'm in the car. However, I must admit the new i-phone is very appealing, given all it will do. Of course, I don't want to pay the high cost; nor do I want to switch from my present mobile carrier.

For those who have Ipods or MP3 players, what appeals to you about these technologies? Anyone have an i-phone? If so, how do you like it?

Fun Times

Last night we had a Mom's Night Out. Eight out of 9 of us were there this time. This is a group of women that got to know each other (for the most part I think anyway) while we were all participating in a breastfeeding support group. Our kids are all between 2 and 3 now. And, 4 of our group members are pregnant again! So, there will be lots of babies around again soon.

There was a recent article in the Birmingham News (I tried to find the link to it but couldn't for some reason) about Mom's Groups, and how they really provide a source of support in our current society for mothers. I agree completely. I have called others in the group or placed emails on the support group listserv numerous times in the 2 years I've been a mother. And, while they may not always have answers to help me solve my problems, the support I've received has always been phenomenal.

As someone who studies social support and the effects it has on our mental health, I'm glad that mom's groups are proliferating in our society. I wonder, though, how common place are dad's support groups . . . does anyone know?

Our group has talked about trying to get the dads together for a dads' night out. I hope we can make it happen (you do notice that I say I hope we, as in the mothers, can make it happen since I'm not sure the guys would take the initiative). Anyone want to volunteer their husband to organize a dads' night out?

Here's to many more fun times for moms, dads, and friends in general in 2008!

Busy Days . . .

Ever since we returned from holiday travels, I think I've been running in double time trying to get everything done. ASA's (the national sociology conference I attend) annual paper submission deadline is next week (and you have to submit a 20 page paper rather than an abstract for it); I'm working with other colleagues on 2 papers for it. Neither of them are as far along as I'd like for them to be at this point unfortunately. While these are important, I'm also trying to get a grant proposal out this Friday! If it gets funded, it will be a really neat and important project. I'm really ready for a mother's night out Friday!

I've unpacked 4 boxes in my office (out of 39); unfortunately they are taking a backseat to the grant proposal and ASA papers. I'm hoping to really start unpacking them next week. Wish me luck!

We finally got our xmas tree out of the house this morning! We de-decorated it over the weekend and then it sat there looking very sad until this morning. Nothing like knowing you have someone coming to help clean your house to finally get the tree out!

Oh, and we finally mailed out most of the Christmas cards! We still haven't been able to find the pix of Callen that we were going to include. Maybe they'll turn up before she turns 3! I'm hoping to mail out the last of the Christmas gifts on Saturday : ).

Here's hoping your days are more relaxed than mine . . .